we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
