The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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