i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
