none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
