Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
