Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
