we're blogging at a bar
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
