Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
