glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Boobs are out for the taking
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize