Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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