i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
