There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
