I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize