let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
