a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
