I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
