we have officially lost it.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
