i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
