I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
