booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
there was a trapeze. enough said
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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