i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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