It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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