Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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