normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize