There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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