Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
