Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
