I can tuck mytits in my pants
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
