Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
