Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
