My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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