Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
