so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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