hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
