are you so shy because you have an std?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
