my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
