yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
