In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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