Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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