I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
wow bdsm is so cute
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
