I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
