I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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