Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
