just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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