id be glad to
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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