She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Your topless pictures make me question reality
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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