Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
