Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Pants are for mortals
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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