Having a random hookup so left but love u
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
