She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
