please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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