i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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