I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
