The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
