She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
