im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
