Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize