I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
