I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize