you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
