Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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