This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
